Valentine's Day

When I looked up and saw Cupid with his bow, I knew we were in trouble. Soon, there were scores of them, like a hive of bees. The clear blue sky drowned in minutes in a pool of magic dust that was colored a rainbow of red. I immediately commanded my pet panda to make a quick escape while I fired back miscellaneous objects at the swarms of cupids with my slingshot. Tables, desks, bowls of cereal, power cords, gift cards, and mattresses flew through the air, cutting through arrows and streaks of red. Cupids fell from the sky like flies in the rain. One of the flung kitchen knives hit an evergreen tree, which landed on a few of the Cupids and stopped the others from giving pursuit. After making it through the Chasm of Cupids, we finally encountered our last obstacle.  The Cave of Cavities. Naturally, I threw my long-time acquaintance, the Cat, into the dark, unwelcoming depths first to check for dangers. When the coast was clear, our party cautiously sneaked in, hoping to get to the other side and out the cave without a hitch. Suddenly, a pair of sheet white eyes appeared not ten meters ahead of us. I commanded the Cat to harness the power of white hot love and to stay still. Then, I punted him straight between the pair of lifeless eyes, which no doubt belonged to the Candy Monster, and ran bolted right out of the cave with my pet panda, leaving nothing but a smoldering wreckage behind. Later, I would again rendezvous with my acquaintance, the Cat, on a different journey to the Mountains of Heavenland, but that would be another tale. We, (my panda and I), had made it at last, to the land of Eternal Chocolate. We let go of our vigilance, while expecting to be greeted warmly. Luckily, something caught our attention. I've long forgotten how we figured out that the land of Eternal Chocolate wasn't actually eternal, and that it was only open ten to five on Valentine's Day, (or how we managed to even remember when Valentine's Day was, for that matter), but I do remember when we looted as much chocolate from that place as we could before burning it down too, and those were some good, good times.

Happy Chocolate Day Everyone!
May the next year be forever better than the previous!