TU Tuesday

http://blog.timesunion.com/adirondacks/one-in-vermilioin/1054/
"I heard they lost a billion trees" was a hyperbole, or exaggeration, that reinforced the kind of light the author cast on the speaker at the other end of the telephone, in the sense that it made her, herself, seem more hyper and exaggerated and somewhat naive.
"and the next thing... and I had... and what are... and God knows..." The repetition, or repeating, of conjunctions and the run-on dialogue is also used to create the same hyper, too-much-to-say tone in the character of April.
"squeak like hinges" is a simile, (a comparison that uses like or as), which creates a sound in the reader's mind that helps to better explain the tone.

"One in Vermilion" is an article written by a bird field guide specialist about a, presumably, real life phone conversation with a crazed woman who is extremely naive and extremely interested in birds herself. He uses this conversation as a piece of evidence that he has "paid for [his] first field guide to the birds with [his] sanity". In the dialogue, he uses basically no punctuation to portray the speaker at the other end of the line as a crazy and slightly dim girl who lacks judgment and patience and who is on "nicotine or THC" because she talks so fast and won't slow down to even think about the ridiculous things she's saying. One of the things she mistakes, and thus was ridiculed by, was the line "I heard [Texas] lost a billion trees" in the context of the effects of global warming. This article was mostly a self blog about an event that happened.