Original Poems III

Art
(I want to write about)

I want to write
about how
I think
I know
how I should write
about how I
should write
that I know,
I think,
about how
I want to write.

Coffee
(Strong words)

Richer
than a golden ring
of flavor and
thicker than
buttered toast
with the edges just slightly
burnt
with cold
lifeless
vanilla
form

Original Poems II

Cats
(Acrostic)

Cats
Are like
Terse
Similes for everything.

Where I'm From
(Where I'm From)

I am from mice, from iPods and different.

I am from the perfect white backyards in the wintertime.
I am from the leaves, and the sunlight (possibly quite literally).
I am from the year of the rat, rabbit, dragon, and sheep and too high standards, from my mom, my dad, and my brother.
I am from the perfectionist that fawns over the little things and the procrastination with everything else.
From carefree and diligence.
I am from universalism. Whether it be because of acceptance or indifference.
I'm from Canada,
and rice and dumplings.
From those times I almost died but not quite, the days when school had no homework, and the times when Santa was so much closer.
I am from those places
from where I'm from.


not Cats
("Poem")


The other day
my dog was 
rummaging
through my backpack


and he seemed
awfully hungry
with his intimidating,
voracious appetite.


Well, I'm not saying
that it was him,
but maybe
it was him.

Original Poems I

Experimental Thesis on the Effect of Conceptual Thought Element Soup Door Tree Oatmeal Universe
Freeverse

Once upon a time
in a land
far,
far away there was a
blue hippopotamus that
ate ice-cream, and
it flew because it had
wings and it was not red
so it was blue
and it flies
and then the goat
was not blue
so it exploded and
then it was cake
and it ate red
carrots and marshmallows
and giant toasters
that had wings and
was rainbows
with windows, on the side
that housed goats
that traveled
on top of trains
to a nowhere land of
the blue hippopotamus.

Not A Picture
(Haiku)

Art is not so much
how good art is, but moreso
how bad my eyes are.

Halfway There
(Monostich (For Fun))

There is no mention of Cats here.

Wisp
(Sevenling)

An idea that springs up from the wellspring
of knowledge lies still for only a moment,
eager for a vessel of action to engrave it forever

until the sands of time snatch it away through
fingertips, while all that is left is a thought that
something was there for a fleeting moment.

I'm not saying there was something, but maybe there was.

Vocabulary on my Mind

(Note: I got sick and didn't actually have time to use every single word... or even half...)
The brevity of the itinerant's speech was marked by the contemporary colloquial tones of the unobtrusive din of vapid monotone and indifference as he nonchalantly expressed his want to quickly take leave and leave behind the effervescent labyrinth of sedentary toadies and finish his work in a succinct and thrifty manner so that he may carry on in a quiescent manner and enjoy his plethora of extra time by sleeping soundly at the end of a mellifluous day, although the reality was that life would not possibly be so obsequious and altruistic for that would obviously be all too kind of an act for such an intractable adversary as life.

What I Need to Know About Writing and Writers to Become a Better Writer

My topic for this project is the role of creativity in all good writing, and how to use it effectively and how to develop different aspects of it such as voice, style, word choice, and ideas. I chose this topic because I am very interested in the creative elements of writing, and also because this has been a theme in the original idea we had at the beginning of the project. I believe that writing can always be furthered with a little bit of out-of-the-box thinking.

1/17 Speaker 5*****

Guest Speaker Round 4= Marni Gillard

In The High Dive, I really like the voice the author uses that has great sync with the personality of someone little. I agree that for someone writing from the perspective of a younger character, tighter writing is better. I think that there can also be instances where writers write from an older perspective, looking back in time, and I think that that is an interesting style too. For this piece, however, I like the repetitive "Watch me!..." dialogue that shows the age of the character and the craving for assurance in some way. In this piece, the setting is in a pool somewhere, with water and a fast-paced set of scenes that races forward like a child's mind. I think that the flashback of "Earlier that night at supper" breaks the flow of the story somewhat. I, personally, would push it into an earlier paragraph, perhaps, because there are important bits of information in it. Another thing to note is that the literal elements of the story, such as "I shiiiiiivered" would fit much better into a "Geronimo Stilton" style, with colorful word art words that appeal to kids, rather than a black on white word document format. Overall, the story is very consistent, in voice, theme, and writing style, and would really appeal to younger readers. A last thing to note would be that, unless for emphasis' sake, "What d'ya say" could be changed to "What'd ya say" and "Daaady" to "Daaaddy". 
1/12 Speaker = 5*****

Round Three- Mary Moriarty

One Art is a poem with a very loose structure and rhyme. The poem adopts a short and concise theme with only 3 lines and many enjambments for the sake of maintaining a rhyme. The poem uses contrasts between good and bad to create a unique view on losing. "The art of losing isn't hard to master" uses "art" and "losing" in the same line, which makes me imagine a juxtaposition of being good at something bad. Occasionally, the poem doesn't rhyme when it seems like it should, such as with "fluster" and "master", which gives it a less serious tone.

Monochrome Life

I always wake up lying in bed

And as I stay there for a while

I'm glad I'm not so quite too dead

But no matter how much food I chew

or how much I sweep the tiles,

I always wake up lying in bed

And there's still so much stuff to do

At least I'm not a crocodile?

I'm glad I'm not so quite too dead.

After I say the goodnight cue

And let the sleepy night beguile

I always wake up lying in bed.

Everyday there's more to rue

with work piled high on little life isle

I'm glad I'm not so quite too dead

But of what others do, I live in lieu,

And after all of the difficult trials

I always wake up lying in bed and

I'm glad I'm not so quite too dead.

In The Back Seat of My Mother's Car, the most noticeable thing is it is rare to find a sentence that is not broken into two lines. In the first line, "We left before...comfort you", the line is split between "time" and "to". After arriving at the second paragraph, the whole poem becomes visible in that it is a perfectly eloquent mirror image of the first half of the poem. The lines are in reverse, but still flow smoothly such as with "half-dark. I wanted..." and how both sentences after it made perfect sense. While the first poem ends on a vivid cliffhanger, the second seems to carry a heavier atmosphere.

In  Fatherland and Track Photo, the author seems to be describing pictures in detail with stories. There is more action and feeling than description, such as "he flicks away the simplest memory". In Track Photo, what Susan Comninos said about enjambments can be seen to really have the full effect with short lines. When one line seems to be saying one thing, it can mean something else, such as with the "urn pushed / into a stone wall"

Bored Out of His Mind

Thoughts escape

from his inner self as

he collects himself 

in a neat 

and vapid fashion,

wondering why he is

here with a pseudo smile

looking into nothing

and he hopes,

as he can only hope,

that nobody really has the telepathy

to read his mind, cursing

this terrible

time wasting past-time.

1/10 Speaker = 5*****

Round Two- Marilyn Kemp

In the mystery writings of Marilyn Kemp, there is a consistent theme of murder being investigated by two "nosy Puritans" named Hetty Henry and Increase Cotton. The novels take place during the colonial American period, and have many themes that are consistent with the historical time period, such as the butler in Death of a Dancing Master and how he "stuttered the words all the way to jail", implying a small community within walking distance. Death of a Bawdy Belle was a story of the Salem witch trials as well. The "rapid speech of words in Gaelic" also gives background on the languages spoken. Overall, I think that the stories seem to tie in closely with one another, but fail to drift far enough from the roots of the outlines. All of them involve murder and have the same themes, and multiple books involve witches. The narrow genre makes this type of writing an extremely hit or miss theme, although the pros are that getting acquainted with characters and following the story is easier.

2 questions I have are whether writing with such a recurring theme possibly limits the audience and why mysteries tend to involve only murder and no other crimes.

1/6 Speaker = 5*****

Round One- Susan Comninos

Susan Comninos is a freelance journalist that lives in New York and writes mainly poetry, and has won a Yehuda Halevi Poetry Competition, which was a competition named after an influential Spanish and Jewish poet. Her writing is very advanced and also sometimes in a very religious manner. One of the lines of the poem Deconstruction Workers that I enjoyed deciphering was “till the holly’s left / hanging, anfractuous”, which also was a part of a poem that used great enjambment as well. In Beached, or Dementia, Comninos creates a very vivid imagery through feelings and seemingly unrelated items, without even telling details in the slightest. The lines “for tsimmes… seaboiled soul”, all seemed to have a rapid-fire style of poetry that is more free and quickly flowing without bounds. In a lot of her poems, there is also a repeating theme of water, the ocean, or seafood and sea creatures. In some of her writing, she even uses different languages, which is perhaps from her background, such as Yiddish and Hebrew, which adds to a sensation of being lost in the image of the poem. One example of this is in Pecan, Rodef, Clam where, even in the title, there is a Hebrew word “Rodef”, meaning a fetus posing a threat to its mother’s life, as well as “like a clam’s / clipped momser”, where momser is Yiddish for illegitimate child. In lieu of the vast and daring metaphors that Comninos uses, a final metaphor I found very interesting was the seeming comparison between a person and delicious food in Italian for You, with the lines “what’s known to melt… oh, delicious descent.”

One question I have for poetry is whether there is a “good” or “bad” or “right” or “wrong” way with poetry and if there is a “better” or “worse”.

Another question I have would be how writing poetry, especially free verse such as Comninos’, affects writing essays and vice versa.